The Audacious Octopus

Up late one boring evening, I was flipping through television channels and happened upon a very interesting program which ended up consuming my attention for multiple hours (mission accomplished!)  It was a discovery channel series which focuses on creepy deep sea creatures, and I was lucky enough to tune-in for the octopus episode.  Normally after a stressful day at the office, nerves still on edge and caffeine still coursing through my veins, I would flip through TV channels in search of some mind-dumbing cartoon or foul-mouthed stand up comic; but yours truly actually stopped and stayed with the very informative and aw-inspiring octopus program.  And I must attest that I now consider myself a huge octopus fan!

An octopus is essentially an underwater alien!  Your typical octopus has almost supernatural abilities; I can’t even decide which octability (self-coined term) is my favorite.  They are extremely nimble creatures, an octopus actually has a special cavity which it uses to jet-propel itself while swimming extremely fast.  The octopus also harbors a keen ability to navigate through convoluted terrain and also to hide.  An extremely efficient sea creature, the octopus is capable of squeezing into the smallest of holes and cracks as it has no internal or external skeleton.  This is one of multiple defense mechanisms it has against predators (or underwater camera crews!)  The eight-tentacle marvel is also able to change its skin color and texture to resemble seaweed, rock, or sand… or it can display vibrant Christmas-tree-like colors to startle an undesired underwater stalker.  Octopi also possess ninja-like qualities as they can expel a cloud of blinding ink to zip quickly away from unwanted followers.  The octopus is far more than an underwater acrobat; extreme intelligence is also an admirable characteristic of this unique animal.  Experiments, surely annoying but not cruel, have indicated time and time again that the octopus has a very detailed memory; both long and short term.  The program even showed an unwilling octopus-subject learning its way through a tricky submerged maze, rife in dead ends; a path which the creature memorized as it made its way through the maze a second instance at a fraction of the time it had taken initially while learning.  The incredible creature apparently has nine separate brains, this explains the locomotive prowess and heightened intelligence the octopus exhibits.  What an amazing program, what an amazing creature!

As I spend almost every waking hour submerged in my work, almost anything can make me think of the moving industry. Human beings have a long history of turning fantasy visions into reality, and the fabled underwater city of Atlantis indicates a broad interest people may have in living under the ocean. Surely All My Sons will be the first moving company to take a stab at underwater relocation services if such a need ever exists. How amazing it would be, though arguably inhumane, to have a crew of octopi on the job of any underwater move! An octopus would surely be able to work circles around a scuba-gear-clad mover we currently have on staff. Ah, wishful thinking.